Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
