omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
