Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
