You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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