no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
