In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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