Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
