you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
