and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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