Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
