I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
