Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
