I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we made out on top of his cat.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I sprained my soul last night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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