Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
