is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
