I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
