please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
