You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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