New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize