Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
40s are totally the cure
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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