So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
