Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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