After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
