Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
