We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize