If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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