There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
