im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
