all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
