you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
