I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
