The best revenge is premature balding
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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