You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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