Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize