So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
