Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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