I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
