I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
