all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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