Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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