You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
