I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
