im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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