I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
