she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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