haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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