I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
