But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
