She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
