i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
