New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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