I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
