So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
