JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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