4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
