Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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