The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
