it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
