I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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