He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Who died my cat blue again?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
