if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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