when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
