I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
