I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize