That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
