i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
